Hey guys! It's Chasity. I previously and briefly stated that I was in foster care, that my biological parents were very abusive, and in result of that I have suffered with manic depression, PTSD, and anxiety. Mother's Day is approaching, and it never gets easier. Not just Mother's Day, but with any holiday. This will be my third Mother's Day as a mother and the first with my second child, who is my rainbow baby. Seeing everyone spending their days with their great mothers and seeing photos of the love that is filled in the Mother's and child's eyes as they hold each other is difficult, to say the least.
    As I hold my sweet son every single day I question why my biological mother never felt the love that consumes my soul. For many years I thought there was something wrong with me. That I must just be unlovable if the person who birthed me couldn't love me. If the main person set on this Earth to love me would rather bring me pain how could anyone else love me? I spent years questioning every single thing about myself, to the point where I almost hated who I was. I began to seek love in places...that would never give me love. I pushed people who did love me away, because they would just bring me pain or leave me too...right?
    When Langston cries my heart clinches, when he has to get shots I cry with him, when he is sick I worry and cry with/ for him. He is my heart. I want to protect him from any pain this world will bring him. I thought before I ever became a mother it was hard dealing with the love I was shorted out on from my own, but I just didn't know. Feeling the love I have for my children I can't fathom how she didn't feel that same love. She just didn't. She didn't protect me. She didn't cry with me. She didn't come when I needed her. She just didn't. Instead of protecting me when my biological father would come to beat her she would throw me or hold me in front of her. I became her shield. If she saw him hurting me...she watched. She looked on as I was molested. She WATCHED her child suffer and did nothing.
    Langston's needs have always come before my own. When he was a newborn I even used the bathroom on myself because I was trying to change, feed, or soothe him. Sure I could have set him down and let him cry for two minutes, but I couldn't bear to do that. As mothers, we tend to forget about ourselves, but my biological mother never thought of her children. Many times she sat and ate in front of us knowing we hadn't eaten anything in days.
    When my three siblings and I were taken into foster care she had a chance to get us back. The deal was if she left my bio father then she could have us and help would be given for childcare and bills. She didn't choose us. She never chose me. She never chose any of my siblings. She picked an abusive little boy over her own children. Yes, my bio father was in his 30s, but that doesn't make him a man, so I'm going to describe him as a little boy. When my first baby was stillborn my world shattered. I felt like I couldn't even breathe. I would've given any single thing to have him here. I would have given my own life for him to live. The chance to watch him grow, laugh, play, to change his diaper, or even bathe him was taken from me. I cannot imagine willfully giving my children up. That's not a thought my mind can comprehend.
    Not too long ago she wrote me a letter. I obsessed over this letter. I read it everyday. In this letter, she tried to tell me what happened didn't really happen. That because things that were done to me weren't in court documents it wasn't valid. A little into the letter she tried to take credit for who I am today, for things I have accomplished. She doesn't get to do that. She doesn't get to take credit and act like she did something great with me to make me the person I am today. If anything she made me set out to never become who she is. She also said that I needed to stop referring to her as her given name and call her mom, because "I am your mother". Just because you give birth to a child that doesn't make you that child's mother. 
    I decided to ask my Facebook friends what their personal definition of a mother was, and mostly everyone had the same idea. A mother is unconditional love, the person you have the strongest bond with, a mother does anything and everything for her children, she gives her last drop to her children, protector, boo-boo kisser, makes you feel happy and last but not least provider. Not one single person said "some who gives birth to a child". There is so much more to being a mother than birthing a tiny human. Motherhood holds so much beauty, and I am so very thankful I got the opportunity to be a mother to such a beautiful little boy.
    I cannot call my biological mother "mom" because she has never been a mom. I am almost 21 years old and I cannot think of one time she was a mother to me. It used to make me so angry when people who knew her would tell me how much she loves me. All I could think is "Then why doesn't she say that? Why have I not heard from this person in years, this person that loves me oh so much. Why did she bring me so much pain? If she loves me then why did she give me a life that I spend forever trying to overcome?" It's because she didn't. She just didn't. She never loved me unconditionally. She never chose me.
    If you are reading this just know that I choose me. I choose love. I choose my son every single day. I choose to be the mother and woman you never were. I choose to not need you or your love.

Me wa Kuchi hodo ni mono o ii.
The eyes speak as much as the mouth. (Love needs no words)
- Japanese Proverb

Hey friends! Today's post is coming to you from Ricki, and I've got a lot to tell y'all today! I've mentioned in post or two on this blog that I'm trying to do something super scary this last few months: love myself. I've been noticing a lot of close friends struggling with taking care of themselves, and it's so easy to do that when we get stressed or tired. Remember that even when times are tough, you are important, and you deserve to be taken care of. Here are 10 of the most helpful ways I love myself every day!



1. Care for yourself the way you'd care for your younger self.
Okay so this is one of my favorites because it honestly changed my entire thought process on self love, and it's so simple. You can love yourself simply by looking at yourself from another point of view. When you're anxious, instead of berating yourself and beating yourself up, treat your anxious side like you would treat a friend. If your friend was nervous about a paper they had due or a project they were turning in at work, wouldn't you reassure them that they're wonderful and things will be okay? It's never a bad thing to take a step back and try to view things in a different light when it comes to your appearance, your thoughts, and your feelings. Feel free to love and take care of yourself as you would a younger version of yourself that needed someone to support them. :)

2. Fake it 'til you make it.

Take it from Tina here (I love Tina Belcher, by the way, and if you don't love her too we can't be friends): if you believe you're beautiful, you will be. I look back at photos of me when I was in a dark place, and I notice there is a spark missing. I literally feel brighter now that I'm actively practicing self love, like there was a light inside me that was switched off simply because I didn't believe it was there. At first I was definitely faking it. "I am beautiful just as I am," I would tell myself, while simultaneously thinking I'd like to hurl my beautiful self into a wood chipper. Okay, that's a bit extreme, but you get the gist. Anyway, as soon as I stopped telling myself all the bad things about me, other people magically did too. I never realized it, but people saw me pointing out all of the negatives about myself and subconsciously perceived that as an "okay" to point them out too. Even when I was just acting like I thought I was the best thing since sliced bread, the universe responded, propelling me forward until I no longer was acting, and I just knew I was the bees knees, as if I never knew anything different and some parts of my inner babe were just busy doing other things instead of catching up to this truth. So, play a part. Tell yourself you are amazing, beautiful, majestic, that the sun shines our of your booty. Play the part. Become the character. Win an Oscar. ?????. Profit.

3. Don't be ashamed of your recovery/journey
I used to think my past was embarrassing, and that it was shameful and childish that I used to treat my body the way I did before I recovered from my eating disorder. Even now, I typed that first sentence out and deleted it about 12 times, afraid of the reaction I would get when I used that term. I've briefly mentioned my recovery on this blog in my introduction post, as it's something I actively have to work on even 3 years later, and while I most certainly don't go screeching from the mountaintops about it, I don't hide it anymore. When I started opening up about it a bit more, it helped others to understand why I try to be positive about my appearance and why I do certain things. Loving oneself is much easier when there is a support system backing you up, so please don't be ashamed or afraid to share with your loved ones that you are trying to be more positive! Those who love you will love you all the more for wanting to better yourself and they will support you, whatever your reasoning may be.

4. Learn yourself.
Practice being quiet and alone with your thoughts. Maybe think up a cute nickname for yourself, and use it when you think to yourself (I know this one sounds super weird but I swear if you tell yourself to wake up and go to work, sweetie, it perks you up just a little bit. Really. I'm not crazy.). Have small conversations with yourself, learn how you work. I knew someone who used to tell me they "knew me better than I knew myself" very often, and while at the time I viewed this as endearing, now it's not so cute. No one should know you more than you know you, and no one is going to be capable of loving you like you can. Get to know yourself, and be your own best friend, soulmate, sister, etc. Learn how you like things done and do them for yourself, as there are always going to be times when you are alone, and these are not times you need to be upset or stressed, these should be times of contentment. You can feel free to enjoy your own company.



5. Keep a list of positive quotes available whenever you need them.



One of my favorites from Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat, Pray, Love.

6. Try to remember that no one is perfect
And more than likely no one is nitpicking your appearance but YOU.
Okay so let's be real, do you remember what Sarah-from-work was wearing yesterday? Okay how about today? No? Yeah me either, so I'm going to be crystal clear with you here and let you know she probably doesn't give a hoot what you were wearing or what you looked like either. I swear, this was the best realization ever, because I no longer stressed so much about looking perfect once I started reminding myself of this. Also, it's easier to justify buying really cute red pants if I no longer have to follow the "You can only wear these once a week" rule so that's cool.

7. Surround yourself with positive people.
It's so easy to be down on yourself if you associate with others who are down on themselves, or worse, bringing YOU down! I know this one can be hard because once you have your preferred group of friends, change is scary, but once you decide you're going to be positive, those who want to follow in your footsteps will do so, and ones who don't want to get with the program simply will not. When you radiate love and happiness, you will find that like-minded people will gravitate towards you.

8. Surround yourself with positive things.
Open your windows and let light in. Print out quotes to hang on the walls. Buy those nice plates that make you feel accomplished when you make dinner. Take a day to clean your house. Make your normal environments good ones, so that at the very least you can have somewhere to escape to when the outside world is eating away at your aura.

9: Have a playlist/song ready to pump you up when you need a boost!

Try by Colbie Caillat is absolutely my go-to, and another of my favorites is Nobody In The World by John Legend. I actually have a playlist full of songs to pump me up, so feel free to create your own!


10. Remember, it's okay to be selfish sometimes.
I breathe. I breathe. I breathe. It's okay to be selfish sometimes. I tell myself this when I should be doing laundry but I need a break. I tell myself this when I don't need a new lipstick, but I need a pick me up. I tell myself this when I just want to soak in the bath 5 more minutes, but I hear my kid thundering around outside in my room impatiently and I really should get out and attend to him... but I continue to soak anyway. Say it with me, It's okay to be selfish sometimes. It. Is. Okay.

Tell me, beauties (and gentlebabes), how do you love yourself? Whats one thing that helps you when you are feeling low? Leave your tips and your love in the comments below!

Until next time!

Hope you're having a fabulous day! Tori here and today I wanted to share with you four of my favorite, not only super delicious, but also fast, and easy recipes that I've compiled from pinterest. Being someone who keeps an eye out for meals in this category, I thought who wouldn't be interested in possibly finding a new dish to try out? Whether you're in a pinch for time, or just want to have a laid back night of cooking, these foods are perfect for either occasion. They also have a 10 minute or less prep time, so how can you beat that? I know these meals have made long days with my son and crazy days with military life SO much easier!



Ingredients:

• 1 lb. spaghetti noodles
• 1 20-25 oz. jar teriyaki sauce
• 2-3 chicken breasts

Directions:

• Boil the spaghetti noodles until tender.

• Cook chicken in skillet until done all the way through.

• After everything's prepared, pour sauce, noodles, and chicken into a pan, stir all ingredients until well mixed, then enjoy!

Ingredients:

• 3-4 boneless skinless chicken breasts
• Prepared pesto
• 2-3 tomatoes
• 1 cup mozzarella cheese

Directions:

• Heat oven to 400 degrees. 
• Either coat the baking dish with oil/cooking spray or cover with aluminum foil. (helps with easy clean up!)
• Lay chicken in a single layer, spread pesto over each breast, then cut 1/2" thick slices of tomatoes to lay on top as well.

• Sprinkle cheese over top, then bake around 30-40 minutes, or until chicken cooked all the way through and enjoy!

 Ingredients:

• 1 jar (26-28 ounces) pasta sauce (any variety)
• 1 package (25-27 1/2 ounces) frozen cheese-filled ravioli
• 1 cup shredded mozzarella cheese
• 2 tablespoons grated Parmesan cheese

Hey guys! Tori here, and today I wanted to share with you my week of oil pulling. I'm always intrigued to read these type of posts, so I thought I could share with the people who have the same interests as well! I've come to adore coconut oil. I never knew how many amazing things one simple oil would be able to do, especially when it comes to oral health.

 Whenever breastfeeding is spoken about you only hear how beautiful it is. You only hear how it is such a great bonding experience. "Breast is best" is probably the most common phrase. "Oh, don't worry it's all instinct. It will just kick in and you will be fine. You were made to do this." I was told that countless times while on the fence about whether I was going to formula feed or breastfeed.
    While breastfeeding is beautiful, a great bonding experience, and the most natural, best choice for your baby, it isn't all beautiful. There is a lot of ugly in breastfeeding, and I'm here to let you in on it.  Before I start I want to say that I am in no way downing breastfeeding. I love that I chose to breastfeed. I do not regret that choice.

1. It's painful.
    Take your nipple and twist...as hard as you can. It still hurts more than that. Your nipples will swell, which only makes it more painful. They can bleed and crack, no matter how much nipple cream you apply. They pretty much stay sore. I feel as if I have already used a pound of nipple cream...screaming "WHY DOESN'T THIS STUFF NUMB?" It should numb.

2. You will cry.
    It's not easy. You will just want that baby to be full for more than an hour. You will beg him or her to just let you sleep one more minute. When they are eating for what feels like forever you will just want to crawl in a dark hole. The first time that you almost spill a pumped bottle you will cry. When your child starts to use you as a human pacifier...you will cry.


3. Despite popular belief it isn't all instinct. 
    You aren't going to pop this baby out and just know what to do. Sometimes the baby won't latch. You will try everything and he just won't. You feel like a failure when you have to use a nipple shield. At first sometimes the baby just will not eat. So you do all these skin to skin naps, letting your baby nap on your bare chest,  just to get him or her to eat. I was the mother so against co-sleeping, but Langston would just not eat after I had him. The lactation specialist made me do skin to skin naps and keep trying to get him to eat...and this is what made me want to co-sleep with him forever. Langston has always been okay with sleeping on his own; it's funny because I was the one who just needed him. I would get so much anxiety I would hover the crib for hours just to hear him breathe. He no longer sleeps with me because he thinks he is just too good for his mom, I guess.

4. Your baby may pinch, scratch, or even bite you.
    A lot of babies pinch or scratch while feeding. Langston used to smack my boob really hard once he was done eating. He did it every single time. He would also scratch the crap out of me. It looked crazy; my chest was always red. Babies have more strength then you would imagine.

5. Mastitis.
    Mastitis is an infection in the breast tissue from a clogged milk duct or bacteria. It's very painful. You can have flu like symptoms. Your boob(s) will burn and be sore to touch. If you feel any knots or lumps in your breast while breastfeeding call your OBGYN. Unfortunately, Langston is three months old and I have already had it twice. To say the least it is no fun.

6. Pumping
    If you are an exclusive pumper (EP) then you know the struggle of your life running on the time span of three hours. Every three hours for twenty minutes, at the least, you pump. The first time I pumped I felt crazy looking at how little actually came out, but the body is an amazing thing. Your body produces as much as your baby needs to eat (most of the time). Pumping leaves you sore and it can be painful if you aren't using the correct shield size. Just a tip buy a cheap sports bra and cut two circles in it that way you can stick the funnels through and don't have to hold them the entire time. You can also fold your bra in half and they will also stay!

7. Keeping up your supply.
    Your supply can get low. I vividly remember the first time my supply dropped. Langston freaked out which made me freak out. I felt like the biggest failure because I wasn't producing enough for my child. I researched immediately and learned how to keep my supply up. Eating oatmeal, drinking pineapple juice, and drinking lots of water every day. To be completely honest I don't drink as much water as I should. I live off caffeine. Props to any mother who doesn't need caffeine to survive. Also there are a few things you can buy such as Mother's milk tea, and some supplements, and even lactation cookies. So if your supply gets low don't get discouraged.

8. A human vessel.
    There may be times you feel like a human vessel. A human being is literally feeding off of you. Your entire being is devoted solely to this tiny, demanding human. I felt as if I had lost Chasity and just became Mom. Always take time for yourself, even if it's just three short minutes. Remember yourself so you will keep your sanity.

9. You will want to lunge at anyone who thinks it's easy.
    "All you have to do is put a boob in his mouth"...probably the understatement of the century, but I have been told this a million times by multiple people. Try not to kill anyone who says this. Breathe. Just breathe.


In the midst of all this ugly, breastfeeding is beautiful. It is the most precious bonding experience you will get with your sweet babe. It is worth every single tear, sweat, and blood shed. Any amount of breastfeeding is great for your child, so if you have had or chose to quit for any reason do not feel as if you have failed. You did great for even doing it at all. Just a piece of advice for moms to be who are on the fence as I was...just "mentally prepare yourself". That's the advice I received from my OB and probably the best advice I have gotten. If you mentally prepare yourself then you can do it.
Forever cherish those sweet nursing moments and the hard work we put into breastfeeding (including EP). You are doing your best and that is, in its self, enough. 

Hey guys it's Chas! One major key to beauty is skincare. We all know that if you wear makeup and aren't taking care of your skin things can start looking a little rough. We've all been there. Remember in eighth grade when you had just discovered makeup? That was the year my mother had to let me know blue eye shadow was not a good look. Aside from trying to figure out this whole new thing my acne was getting ridiculous. I'm not talking about a few pimples. Pepperoni face was more like it.
   I tried everything and nothing helped. I then went to the dermatologist and was put on Accutane, because it was in my bloodstream. Nothing I did was going to help. After being on Accutane for two years I didn't have a break out again until I got pregnant in 2014. That's when my obsession of skincare began. I just could not stand breaking out. After two years of research and trying everything all over again here is what I find works best and why!

My favorite skincare products:
   
    While watching Miss Yanyi on YouTube one night she did a review on The BodyShop's seaweed line. After watching the entire video I just had to try it out! One thing to know about me is your girl is cheap, okay. I am always looking for deals and sales. The BodyShop runs this Buy 3 Get 3 or Buy 2 Get 1 a lot. When I saw this deal I pounced like a lion.
    I use the Seaweed deep cleansing facial wash, Seaweed pore cleansing facial exfoliator, Seaweed clarifying toner, and the Seaweed mattifying day cream which are all for oily/combination skin. Seaweed is filled with vitamins and minerals which are great for your skin! It moisturizes and conditions without any oils, which makes it beneficial for normal to shiny skin types.

Cleansing facial wash

This is a mild facial wash, so it isn't harsh on your face! It's oil and soap free. This facial wash helps rebalance your moisture and sebum levels as you are washing! The wash removes makeup and excess oils beautifully. Seaweed facial wash leaves a matte finish which is ALWAYS wanted in the beauty world. Who wants to look shiny? When washing your face make sure to go in upward circular motions. Rubbing down can form unwanted wrinkles.