1. Care for yourself the way you'd care for your younger self.
Okay so this is one of my favorites because it honestly changed my entire thought process on self love, and it's so simple. You can love yourself simply by looking at yourself from another point of view. When you're anxious, instead of berating yourself and beating yourself up, treat your anxious side like you would treat a friend. If your friend was nervous about a paper they had due or a project they were turning in at work, wouldn't you reassure them that they're wonderful and things will be okay? It's never a bad thing to take a step back and try to view things in a different light when it comes to your appearance, your thoughts, and your feelings. Feel free to love and take care of yourself as you would a younger version of yourself that needed someone to support them. :)
2. Fake it 'til you make it.
Take it from Tina here (I love Tina Belcher, by the way, and if you don't love her too we can't be friends): if you believe you're beautiful, you will be. I look back at photos of me when I was in a dark place, and I notice there is a spark missing. I literally feel brighter now that I'm actively practicing self love, like there was a light inside me that was switched off simply because I didn't believe it was there. At first I was definitely faking it. "I am beautiful just as I am," I would tell myself, while simultaneously thinking I'd like to hurl my beautiful self into a wood chipper. Okay, that's a bit extreme, but you get the gist. Anyway, as soon as I stopped telling myself all the bad things about me, other people magically did too. I never realized it, but people saw me pointing out all of the negatives about myself and subconsciously perceived that as an "okay" to point them out too. Even when I was just acting like I thought I was the best thing since sliced bread, the universe responded, propelling me forward until I no longer was acting, and I just knew I was the bees knees, as if I never knew anything different and some parts of my inner babe were just busy doing other things instead of catching up to this truth. So, play a part. Tell yourself you are amazing, beautiful, majestic, that the sun shines our of your booty. Play the part. Become the character. Win an Oscar. ?????. Profit.
3. Don't be ashamed of your recovery/journey
I used to think my past was embarrassing, and that it was shameful and childish that I used to treat my body the way I did before I recovered from my eating disorder. Even now, I typed that first sentence out and deleted it about 12 times, afraid of the reaction I would get when I used that term. I've briefly mentioned my recovery on this blog in my introduction post, as it's something I actively have to work on even 3 years later, and while I most certainly don't go screeching from the mountaintops about it, I don't hide it anymore. When I started opening up about it a bit more, it helped others to understand why I try to be positive about my appearance and why I do certain things. Loving oneself is much easier when there is a support system backing you up, so please don't be ashamed or afraid to share with your loved ones that you are trying to be more positive! Those who love you will love you all the more for wanting to better yourself and they will support you, whatever your reasoning may be.
4. Learn yourself.
Practice being quiet and alone with your thoughts. Maybe think up a cute nickname for yourself, and use it when you think to yourself (I know this one sounds super weird but I swear if you tell yourself to wake up and go to work, sweetie, it perks you up just a little bit. Really. I'm not crazy.). Have small conversations with yourself, learn how you work. I knew someone who used to tell me they "knew me better than I knew myself" very often, and while at the time I viewed this as endearing, now it's not so cute. No one should know you more than you know you, and no one is going to be capable of loving you like you can. Get to know yourself, and be your own best friend, soulmate, sister, etc. Learn how you like things done and do them for yourself, as there are always going to be times when you are alone, and these are not times you need to be upset or stressed, these should be times of contentment. You can feel free to enjoy your own company.
5. Keep a list of positive quotes available whenever you need them.
One of my favorites from Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat, Pray, Love.
6. Try to remember that no one is perfect
And more than likely no one is nitpicking your appearance but YOU.
Okay so let's be real, do you remember what Sarah-from-work was wearing yesterday? Okay how about today? No? Yeah me either, so I'm going to be crystal clear with you here and let you know she probably doesn't give a hoot what you were wearing or what you looked like either. I swear, this was the best realization ever, because I no longer stressed so much about looking perfect once I started reminding myself of this. Also, it's easier to justify buying really cute red pants if I no longer have to follow the "You can only wear these once a week" rule so that's cool.
7. Surround yourself with positive people.It's so easy to be down on yourself if you associate with others who are down on themselves, or worse, bringing YOU down! I know this one can be hard because once you have your preferred group of friends, change is scary, but once you decide you're going to be positive, those who want to follow in your footsteps will do so, and ones who don't want to get with the program simply will not. When you radiate love and happiness, you will find that like-minded people will gravitate towards you.
8. Surround yourself with positive things.
Open your windows and let light in. Print out quotes to hang on the walls. Buy those nice plates that make you feel accomplished when you make dinner. Take a day to clean your house. Make your normal environments good ones, so that at the very least you can have somewhere to escape to when the outside world is eating away at your aura.
9: Have a playlist/song ready to pump you up when you need a boost!
Try by Colbie Caillat is absolutely my go-to, and another of my favorites is Nobody In The World by John Legend. I actually have a playlist full of songs to pump me up, so feel free to create your own!
10. Remember, it's okay to be selfish sometimes.
I breathe. I breathe. I breathe. It's okay to be selfish sometimes. I tell myself this when I should be doing laundry but I need a break. I tell myself this when I don't need a new lipstick, but I need a pick me up. I tell myself this when I just want to soak in the bath 5 more minutes, but I hear my kid thundering around outside in my room impatiently and I really should get out and attend to him... but I continue to soak anyway. Say it with me, It's okay to be selfish sometimes. It. Is. Okay.
Tell me, beauties (and gentlebabes), how do you love yourself? Whats one thing that helps you when you are feeling low? Leave your tips and your love in the comments below!
Until next time!
